Nasty Signs of Green Times

Nasty Signs of Green Times

Ok, there’s no need to admit it since even Jerry Seinfeld does it.

I’m not talking sex or nose-picking but bathroom, umm, activities. Granted the subject is not your usual cocktail party chat fare and it’s gross but, unfortunately, it’s in the news.

Overachieving songstress Sheryl Crow and political activist Laurie David started it all with their one-sheet proposal a few years back.

(The terminally squeamish should feel free to substitute “bathroom tissue” wherever the terms “toilet paper” or “tp” is mentioned in this article.)

In sum, enviro-zealots Crow and David seriously proposed that Americans be limited to a single sheet of toilet paper when they had to skip to the loo. The two self-appointed eco-experts felt that challenging sacrifice was needed to save the planet.

Both withdrew into the bushes when their scheme was met with a torrent of mockery and they then pulled an Emily Litella and declared, “Never mind.”

A related toilet tale later bubbled up in cash-strapped Riverside County, California when officials decided they just had to save a third of a penny per tp sheet.

Their plan as reported by the New York Times: “There was a texture test, and then the Facilities Management Department decided that Angel Soft would be utilized for elected officials and their guests. The remainder of the county facilities would be using two-ply.”

For more detail on both stories, toilet paper aficionados are referred to ”Things Get Rough in California,” http://www.genelalor.com/blog1/?p=1007.

Things continue to gurgle on the toilet front.

Last month came the allegation that, unlike people who care about the planet, over-indulged, Earth-hating Americans are inclined to softies when it came to tp.

Super-Charmins and comparable super-soft “terlet paper,” as my mom used to call it, were wiping out tens of thousands of acres of old growth forests which are the prime softness sources. Newer trees make for a rougher going but it sure beats chopping down redwoods, no?

The enviro-whackos think we should emulate Europe and use single ply, recycled paper, which is tantamount to using dry leaves or old copies of the Times.

Those Earth-friendly Europeans are in the forefront of the effort to save the trees, especially old trees and should serve as models for us profligate Americans who love the soft life.

At least one Irish girls’ school has shown the way toward saving a few euros . . .
(Read the rest at http://genelalor.com)