Oddball News

Oddball News: A Touch of Levity

Five brief, semi-interrelated, stories of somewhat odd people who have done or said somewhat odd things.

First, Amy Wolfe, age 33, has been in love since she was 13.

That’s not odd at all, considering the penchant of teenage girls to have crushes. However, the plot thickens.

Amy fell head over heels when she first visited Knoebels Amusement Park in Pennsylvania and has finally decided to tie the knot, although her beloved may or may not be aware of her plans.

You see, the object of her affection is literally an object, more precisely an eighty foot high gondola ride at Knoebels which she has ridden about a thousand times. Called “100 Nachts,” (Nights in German), the gondola attracts Amy “sexually and mentally.”

Amy is afflicted with ”objectum sexuality,” an attraction to inanimate objects, which she would not call an affliction. She says 100 Nachts “is a part of who I am” and admits to sleeping with a picture of the ride on her ceiling and carries a bunch of its spare nuts and bolts with her: http://bit.ly/l8avG.

Ms. Wolfe might want to hold off the nuptials pending release of the next oddball from jail.

George Vera, like Amy Wolfe, has a bit of a weight problem which he tried to use to his best advantage.

George, an inmate at Harris County Jail in Houston, serving time for “selling illegal copies of compact discs,” weighs in at about 500 lbs, and apparently wanted a gun for protection or whatever. You know how dangerous prisons can be with all those criminals around.

Inmate Vera was twice searched for contraband after being remanded and the searchers failed to turn up a gun. He then confessed to a guard during a shower at Harris that he was concealing an unloaded 9 mm pistol under his layers of flab.

He was charged with possession of a firearm in a correctional facility and no doubt now will do more time for that crime than he will for the compact discs caper.

Why he fessed up after succeeding in hiding the weapon is unknown. Maybe he just got religion or maybe he is a stupid oddball. Either way, he’d make a better catch for Ms. Wolfe than 100 Nachts. At least he’d be softer hanging above her bed and he comes with his own set of nuts and bolts: http://bit.ly/UZxWM

Keith Griffin of Jensen Beach, Florida has one precocious, and horny, or skilled cat.

Keith was innocently downloading some music on his computer one day but had to leave the room for an indeterminate length of time.

That’s when his rascally feline, unbeknownst to Keith, allegedly jumped on his keyboard and “accidentally” downloaded over a thousand child porn images.

Upon his return, . . .

(Read the rest at http://genelalor.com)