A Day In Obamaland

The GITMO Dog and Pony Show: A Day in Obamaland

This is an incomplete and un-edited transcript of a conversation recorded in the Oval Office. It cannot be termed an official transcript since the recording device was somehow secreted under the carpet in the wee hours of January 19th, 2009 by a person who shall remain unidentified. As can best be determined, the participants were President Obama, (BHO), Attorney General Eric Holder, (EH), Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, (NP), and DHS Secretary, Janet Napolitano, (JN). A staff member suggested it be called, “A Day in Obamaland.” We report, you decide.

BHO: So, what do we do now, bro?

EH: I dunno, man. I told ya this was gonna cause problems. We could send them out to Murtha’s district or maybe San Quentin, Sing Sing? I just dunno. If . . .

NP: I want to say again, I was never told about that waterboarding and I refuse to discuss it any further.

BHO: Umm, Madame Speaker, that’s old news and we weren’t talking about waterboarding, anyway.

NP: Oh, we weren’t? I thought since the topic was that despicable place, Guantanamera, that . .

EH: Nancy, it’s Guantanamo, but can we just get on with this?

NP: Oh, well, if that’s how I’m to be treated, I won’t say another word!

BHO/EH/JN (in unison): Good!

JN: Mr. President, I simply don’t understand the problem. We’re only talking about people the Bushies said were bad guys but none of them have ever been convicted in a court of law. For all we know, they could be fine upstanding citizens of their various countries. Legally, we have no right to be holding them at all . . .

EH: I handle legalities, remember, Jan?

JN: Now there’s no need to be snotty, Mister Attorney General! I just thought I could interject my two cents and besides, those Right-to-Lifers and those returning vets pose a much greater threat than some alleged terrorists. I’ll have you know, those vets know quite a good bit about guns and some have actually shot and killed people.

BHO: It’s called a war, Madame Secretary.

JN: I know, but still . . .

(Knock on the Oval Office door; unknown female voice is heard.)

Unknown: I’m very sorry to interrupt, Mr. President, but Vice President Biden is still waiting. He’s been here all morning. He asked if he could come in.

BHO: Tell him, umm, ah, tell him I’m trying to fix my teleprompter.

Unknown: Sir?

BHO: He’ll get the point.

Unknown: Yes, sir, I’ll tell him.

(Muffled voice, apparently saying “I’ll be good,” then sound of door closing, gently)

BHO: Ok, people, time’s a wastin’. And, Eric, we all know Murtha shoots his mouth off and if we dumped terrorists, (sorry, Janet, suspected terrorists), on his doorstep, he’ll scream bloody murder that his district is being dumped on. He’s gonna have a hard enough time fooling those people again and getting re-elected.

EH: Good point, Barry, oops, Mr. President. And we prefer to call them “detainees.” Did you hear Mueller said it would be risky if we shipped, er, relocated any of them stateside? . . .

(Read the rest at http://genelalor.com)