A Cynic's Guide to Holiday Dinner Table Topics

A Cynic's Guide to Holiday Dinner Table Topics

Depending on who’s sitting around Americans’ holiday dinner tables, there’s sometimes a certain amount of host and guest indecision as to what topics are appropriate and what are not.

What follows is pure opinion and not predicated on any Emily Post recommendations but simply–some will say simple-minded–practical ideas on what should and should not be discussed while we partake of holiday fare.

Of course, depending on the nature of–and the alcohol content of–beverages served and consumed, oftentimes there are no conversational parameters but for those rare families who don’t know what to talk about, I hereby present a guide for Christmas/Hanukkha/Kwanzaa/Festivus chat.

. FOR THE TWISTED: Planned Parenthood of America offered a topic for the Thanksgiving table which is applicable to all family gatherings. Why not, suggested the busiest abortion-provider in the nation, discuss “reproductive health and justice”?

That’s always an attention-getter as we celebrate, no?

While downplaying the grotesque features of aborting human life, PPOA offers ideas on, among other things, how to “diffuse” debate on “the bigger picture” by avoiding slogans, framing that picture correctly, and offering proper refutations to those who believe abortions are murder.

Planned Parenthood doesn’t much like pictures which depict the truth and treats the subject with a degree of levity, concluding its cheery advice with, “Good luck, and remember, if things get really bad, you can always bring up something everyone can agree on, like how much we all love pumpkin pie.”

Transitioning family debate from abortion to dessert should be a piece of cake, at least in the twisted eyes of abortionists. Is it any wonder normal people want PPOA defunded?

. FOR OCCUPIERS: The Occupy Wall Street and Everything Else anarchists are a fun bunch to discuss over holiday ham or Christmas turkey, especially if a supporter or two is present at the festivities.

Out on the Left Coast in the City by Gomorrah Bay, thousands of Santa wannabes dressed up to do some occupying and marched through downtown San Francisco protesting everything from corporate excesses to bank greed to–this being San Francisco–genital mutilation resulting from male circumcision.

Many shed their costumes and protested in Santa hats and nothing else, reinforcing the opinion of rational adults that OWS, and San Franciscans, have been addled by pot, coke, and un-bridled political correctness.

Wouldn’t little Johnny and little Janey just love to hear the adults chatting about naked Santas as they scarfed down their dinners?

For a graphic, pictorial essay on how Friscans celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ and make asses of themselves in the process see “San Francisco Puts the “X” Back in Xmas.”

. FOR DENIERS: Virtually every holiday table features someone who thinks the annual War on Christmas is a fabrication of Fox News so why not start a brouhaha by bringing up the recent case of crazed vandals mindlessly stomping on a Nativity display? . . .
(Read more at http://www.genelalor.com/blog1/?p=11319.)