A Cynic's Guide to Holiday Dinner Table Topics

A Cynic's Guide to Holiday Dinner Table Topics

Depending on who’s sitting around Americans’ holiday dinner tables, there’s sometimes a certain amount of host and guest indecision as to what topics are appropriate and what are not.

What follows is pure opinion and not predicated on any Emily Post recommendations but simply–some will say simple-minded–practical ideas on what should and should not be discussed while we partake of holiday fare.

Of course, depending on the nature of–and the alcohol content of–beverages served and consumed, oftentimes there are no conversational parameters but for those rare families who don’t know what to talk about, I hereby present a guide for Christmas/Hanukkha/Kwanzaa/Festivus chat.

. FOR THE TWISTED: Planned Parenthood of America offered a topic for the Thanksgiving table which is applicable to all family gatherings. Why not, suggested the busiest abortion-provider in the nation, discuss “reproductive health and justice”?

That’s always an attention-getter as we celebrate, no?

While downplaying the grotesque features of aborting human life, PPOA offers ideas on, among other things, how to “diffuse” debate on “the bigger picture” by avoiding slogans, framing that picture correctly, and offering proper refutations to those who believe abortions are murder.

Planned Parenthood doesn’t much like pictures which depict the truth and treats the subject with a degree of levity, concluding its cheery advice with, “Good luck, and remember, if things get really bad, you can always bring up something everyone can agree on, like how much we all love pumpkin pie.”

Transitioning family debate from abortion to dessert should be a piece of cake, at least in the twisted eyes of abortionists. Is it any wonder normal people want PPOA defunded?

. FOR OCCUPIERS: The Occupy Wall Street and Everything Else anarchists are a fun bunch to discuss over holiday ham or Christmas turkey, especially if a supporter or two is present at the festivities.

Out on the Left Coast in the City by Gomorrah Bay, thousands of Santa wannabes dressed up to do some occupying and marched through downtown San Francisco protesting everything from corporate excesses to bank greed to–this being San Francisco–genital mutilation resulting from male circumcision.

Many shed their costumes and protested in Santa hats and nothing else, reinforcing the opinion of rational adults that OWS, and San Franciscans, have been addled by pot, coke, and un-bridled political correctness.

Wouldn’t little Johnny and little Janey just love to hear the adults chatting about naked Santas as they scarfed down their dinners?

For a graphic, pictorial essay on how Friscans celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ and make asses of themselves in the process see “San Francisco Puts the “X” Back in Xmas.”

. FOR DENIERS: Virtually every holiday table features someone who thinks the annual War on Christmas is a fabrication of Fox News so why not start a brouhaha by bringing up the recent case of crazed vandals mindlessly stomping on a Nativity display? . . .
(Read more at http://www.genelalor.com/blog1/?p=11319.)

CHRISTMAS RADICALS: CONCLUSION

CHRISTMAS RADICALS: CONCLUSION

Those who haven’t read my two previous articles on the bride’s campaign for equal treatment of Christmas should really read them: http://www.genelalor.com/blog1/index.php?s=bride.

It’s not that they’re exceptionally well-written or riveting but the end result of her campaign has proven to be very surprising and could be termed, “One small step for the bride, one giant leap for Christmas.”

To review: My wife of 40 + years isn’t really radical, in most respects, but certain inequities tend to get her dander up. One inequity, a blatant offense, actually, is that most private and public institutions this time of year believe that Santa Claus, “holiday trees,” and wreaths are adequate displays in recognition of the Christmas season.

Fair enough, except when those same private institutions such as state and federally chartered banks then honor Hannukah, the Jewish festival of lights which falls the same time of year as Christmas, with representations of the symbol of Hannukah and of Judaism, the menorrah.

That’s fine, too, except for the fact that the menorrah is a religious symbol and Santa, trees, and wreaths are not. To be accurate and, yes, fair and equitable, a Nativity scene, a creche depicting the birth of the Christ Child, the only reason for the Christmas season, should be accorded at least equal time.

So the radical bride protested last year. She wrote letters and made calls to the headquarters of Capital One Bank, spoke to a few reps, and was told her complaint “would be considered.”

Well, lo and behold, they were considered and today she saw a Nativity scene at our local branch. It wasn’t huge and it wasn’t displayed prominently but it was there in relatively full view.

She extended her sincere appreciation to the branch manager who seemed a tad taken aback by the thanks.

True, the bride’s success wasn’t a huge accomplishment and this is hardly the time to have to engage in competition sports with menorrahs but it was a notable small step and should stand as an encouragement to those who feel as we do. A journey of a thousand miles still begins with that first step, right?

Make your voices heard to banks, et al. Let the managers and, especially, the powers that be at HQ, that we insist on at least one, small Nativity scene.

Then we can go after public institutions.

You never know!

CHRISTMAS PART IV: A RE-PRINT OF A 3 YEAR OLD ARTICLE

Home » Archives » December 2005



This Christmas Season
By Gene Lalor
Posted On December 22, 2005

Well, the weather outside is frightful….That’s not really true in the New York City area right now, although commuters would probably prefer the transit strike to have happened in June, rather than December, but the weather mavens say it will be frightful soon enough. Other things this Christmas season are sort of frightful though, notably, the relentless campaign by some folk to virtually abolish this most holy season and to replace it with a secular “holiday” which extols Grinch-y greed and, as Wordsworth wrote many years ago, “getting and spending.”

Without trying to antagonize the left wing of this country — since it is the season of good will — I really don’t grasp their motives in trying to secularize Christmas. Ok, there are many un-Christian things I could say about America’s “liberals,” but I’ll forgo them, or most of them.

The point is, What’s the harm of Christmas? We’re told the nation is eighty-four percent Christian and that some ninety-four percent, whatever their religion, or lack thereof, celebrate Christmas. Many actually go to church! And, it’s not only the season of good will but it’s a season when people at least try to mend familial fences, when people, more than they do usually, sincerely hope and wish for peace on earth and good tidings to everyone, when people even tend to smile more.

Just what’s so bad about all that?

I hate to say it, but I believe those who oppose Christmas–and many do oppose it, despite their protestations to the contrary–seem to have a certain negative mind-set, unfortunately a characteristic of the “liberal” psyche. New York area cases in point include a recent flap over a Catholic priest actually daring to use the words “Jesus Christ” at a Christmas tree lighting and another involving a Nativity scene, or manger, and a menorah.

For those from Jupiter, ...

(Read the rest of this article at http://genelalor.com/.)