Showing posts with label armageddon. apocalypse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label armageddon. apocalypse. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

An Apocalylptic Profit Primer

An Apocalyptic Profit Primer

There’s a ton of money in doomsaying, predicting an apocalypse, naming the date for Armageddon, warning of the end of the world, identifying the Antichrist, describing the nature of The Rapture.




Just ask Tim Lahaye or Jerry Jenkins, authors of the Left Behind series of 16 best-selling novels and beneficiaries from the receipts of 3 movies, videogames, and recordings all dealing with such subjects.



Many Americans are currently all abuzz because the ancient, semi-extinct Mayans calculated that December 21st, 2012–not the 20th or 22nd, and not November 6th, 2012 but precisely 12-21-12–would be the last day of mankind’s existence on the Earth as we presently know it.



The primitive Mayan calendar, based on very subjective and disputable data, may have been one of the earlier recorded prognostications of worldwide cataclysm but it was hardly the last.



Michel de Nostredame, the 16th century French apothecary, (a pharmacist, druggist), better known as Nostradamus, is the world’s best-known and most prolific prophet of doom. Among his 6,000 mostly apocalyptic prophecies, he allegedly predicted everything from Napoleon’s defeat to world wars to JFK’s assassination.



For all we know, he may have foretold the invention of Bisquick and Rubik’s Cube since no one knows for certain exactly what he was foretelling due to the mysterious complexity of his cryptic quatrains. They all could have been inspired by his interest in the occult, by sniffing too many of the potions he concocted, or a combination of both.



Chances are he was as insane as Timothy Leary and Charlie and Marilyn Manson.



Although the Mayans didn’t profit monetarily from their calendar and Nostradamus didn’t earn any francs from his doom and gloom, Messrs. LaHaye and Jenkins have grown wealthy as a result of their revivification of a worldwide angst that has scared people for millennia and hundreds if not thousands of others have handsomely capitalized on the Mayan and Nostradamus folderol.



The History Channel could barely exist without them.



Most recently, out of a sense of civic-planetary duty, an 80 year old, retired New York MTA train engineer, Robert Fitzpatrick, called on expertise culled from many decades of operating trains and blew virtually his entire life savings to place a thousand ads on NYC subways and bus shelters to alert the city of the impending Apocalypse on May 21st, 2011.



It’s not known whether Mrs. Fitzpatrick agreed with her hubby’s decision to put their future in the hands of the Social Security Administration either before or after May 21st came and went without incident.



In any event, it was back to the drawing board for the venerable Mr. Fitz and another disappointed negatavist, Harold Camping, who was also sure as shootin’ that the Rapture would occur on 5/21/2001. He hastily changed the date to 10/21/2011, and is presently recalculating. . .
(Read more at http://www.genelalor.com/blog1/?p=23326.)

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Prepping for Apocalypses

Prepping for Apocalypses

Preparing for an apocalypse can take on various forms. They can range from building elaborate, underground structures stockpiled with enough provisions to last an individual or a family for months or more to digging a hole in that same ground and covering yourself with a tarp.

Both approaches make as much sense. Besides being much cheaper, the hole technique would in all probability be about as effective in securing one’s survival as the million dollar building.

However, in no way is that analysis intended to diminish the magnitude of the multiple threats to Americans’ safety–and sanity.

From the dangers of nuclear terrorism that could result in widespread devastation to the perils of economic policies that endanger the foundations of society to natural catastrophes which have frequently wreaked havoc in the world to pandemics that could claim the lives of millions, it’s perfectly understandable that many people are getting nervous.

That nervousness is compounded for those who subscribe to the alleged prediction by ancient Mayans that we shouldn’t make plans for December 22nd, 2012 since the Earth will almost literally be turned upside-down on December 21st, which would make Christmas shopping a silly effort.

It should be noted the Mayans also made predictions for 2017 and 2025 and their culture is long extinct.

Still, the nervousness is being translated into a rebirth of survivalism, a phenomenon dating back to the fifties when fearful people began constructing bomb shelters to shield them from a thermonuclear attack by the Soviets and we schoolkids practiced hiding under our desks to save our lives.

Alternately known as preppers or suvivalists, . . .
(Read more at http://www.genelalor.com/blog1/?p=12993.)

Thursday, May 19, 2011

The End Is Near! Again!

The End Is Near! Again!

Nostradamus fans must be frantically searching his multitudinous prophecies in hopes of discovering irrefutable evidence that somewhere, somehow, he predicted Anno Domini May 21st, 2011 as the end, when the world will be absolutely kaput, when it’s all over, baby, and trying to reconcile ancient Mayan beliefs that the end isn’t due until A.D. December 21st, 2012.

Aficionados of The End of the World as We Know It have even coined an acronym, TEOTWAWKI, and established websites to prepare believers on how and when to pack up all their cares and woes beforehand. Now the “when” has been pinpointed, sort of, at least within the narrow spectrum of this coming Saturday and Friday, 12-21-2012, so all that remains is all the packing.

The primary proponent of the earlier date, retired 80 year old, N.Y.C. MTA train engineer Robert Fitzpatrick, has generously spent almost all his life savings of $140,000 for a thousand ads on N.Y.C. subways and bus shelters to alert the city of the impending Apocalypse.

No word, as yet, on how Mrs. Fitzpatrick, if there is one, regards her hubby’s retirement hobby. However, thousands, if not millions, of New Yorkers–as well as countless others–are taking his prognostications of a “Global Earthquake: The Greatest Ever” and the arrival of “Judgment Day” very seriously. That should dispel the foolish conventional wisdom that the Big Apple is inhabited by doubters and cynics and that people who agree with them are all nitwits.

Far be it from me to burst Fitz’s and other committed TEOTWAWKI bubbles but similar predictions have been bubbling around the doomed Earth’s globe for almost as long as there have been inhabitants of that globe. Remember Y2K?

Pre-dating that non-catastrophe, Sir Isaac Newton and Blaise Pascal suggested the end was near in the seventeeth century and an Assyrian tablet circa 2800 B.C. bemoaned the end almost five millennia ago. As some solace for the fearful, let’s not forget Peanuts’ words of wisdom: “Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.”

In case anyone hasn’t noticed, Newton, Pascal, the Assyrians, and probably a few million other doomsayers and their adherents were wrong and the world is still with us even if it is, as Wordsworth said, “too much with us.” One notable doomsaying prophet, Jim Jones of Jonestown fame, was right on the money but he accomplished the end of the world for only a select few in Jonestown in 1978 and then with spiked Kool-Aid.

On the other hand, filmmakers, ever on the moneymaking cusp, . . .
(Read more at http://www.genelalor.com/blog1/?p=4496)

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Paving the Rocky Road to Armageddon



Paving the Rocky Road to Armageddon


Hiroshima, Mon Amour was a tame film compared to Armageddon, Mon Amour which hasn’t been filmed as yet and probably never will be.

Armageddon, a truly stupid 1998 film featuring Bruce Willis, unfortunately was filmed and featured an asteroid hurtling our way which Bruce re-directs with a nuke. One trouble is that Armageddon the movie sucked as a film, despite Willis. Another is that it had no relevance to Armageddon.

It seems someone is always fretting that the end is near, that the Messiah will make His Second Coming to confront and destroy evil incarnate, the Anti-Christ

The precise time is uncertain for that Final Battle but the location has been pinpointed: The Battle of Armageddon is set for Megiddo, a little lump of a place, a hill situated near an Israeli kibbutz, a tiny spot on the globe that just happens to have monumental biblical and modern relevance as foretold in the Book of Revelations.

Revelations didn’t schedule a date. The paving of the rocky road to the Apocalypse may be in process, however. Practically speaking, any future generations could refer to it as World War III.

Many believe the Armageddon is imminent, a belief that tends to gain more credence and adherents at epochal moments in history, such as the years 1000 A.D. and 2000 A.D., and during stressful times such as ours.

Just as the First World War was precipitated by a single event in Sarajevo, the fear today is that the actions of one or both of the planet’s chief lunatics will lead to Armageddon.

Those two crazies in our midst, the pot-bellied North Korean fruitcake, Kim Jong-il, and the ascetic-looking Iranian nutcase, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, are the most unlikely characters on the world stage to be able to change history except for one distinction: Both are on the verge of nuclear and nuclear-delivery capabilities.

As always, the ever-watchful and ever-impotent United Nations is on the case, wringing its collective, angst-ridden hands and issuing resolution after resolution warning North Korea and Iran not to continue on their respective nuclear courses.

U.N. resolutions are customarily followed by studied inaction during which the delegates settle back and retreat into their comfortable cocoons.

Resolutions are the U.N.’s method of making itself appear useful and its modus operandi for absolving itself of responsibility in the face of potential world dangers should they erupt into full-scale, catastrophic disasters.

Well, we tried, the United Nations can always say even when those attempts have the practical utility of teats on bulls or wings stapled on pigs.

The blustering, self-indulgent despot, Kim Jong-il, represents no Earth-altering geo-political threat, which is not to minimize his insanity and inanity.

He could unilaterally bring about massive devastation in a relatively concentrated area of the planet and the probable retaliation would effectively return his nation to the Bronze Age. That status wouldn’t change much in the daily lives of most North Korean survivors.

On the other hand, Ahmadinejad has the capacity to wreak unspeakable horrors, including beginning that battle in Megiddo, something the maniacal tyrant devoutly wishes.

For a transcript of a lengthy panel discussion featuring various Islamic scholars . . .

(Read the rest at http://genelalor.com)